iTS ABOUT thAT tIME

AS I LOOK UP AND STARE INTO HER EYES
I STRANGELY FEEL HER PAIN
AND BY THE EXPRESSION ON HER FACE SHE STRUGGLES TO REMAIN SANE
THE WAY SHE HOLDS HER HEAD A LITTLE LOWER THAN THE NORM LET ME KNOW THAT SHES SLIGHTLY INSECURE
IF U TAKE THE TIME AND STUDY HER IMAGE U WILL SEE GRACE AND YOUTH BUT IF YOU LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER YOU WILL SEE WORRY AND ABUSE
NOT PHYSICAL BUT EMOTIONAL WHICH CAN SOMETIME HURT WORST BUT I ALSO SEE DETERMINATION TO REMOVE THIS LIFE CURSE
DAMN THIS MIRROR SHOWS ME MORE THAN I WANT TO SEE
BUT THE CHANGE BEGINS WITH ME
......ITS ABOUT THAT TIME

THE BUSINESS

oh my talk about the business.
i had to let him know what he been missing
tender kisses reminiscing
my lips trailing his body, his lips trailing mine
ladies i gave him the business
within the night we explored new places
emotions fueling heart beats racing
for the first time i took him inside
tasting his, he tasting mine
lets talk about the business
long deep strokes
bodies hot
with each thrust he hit my spot
my turn to be in control
so i start to RIDE down love road
from the expression on his face i can see he was enjoying his trip
so to cherish the moment i kissed his lip
damn mr heartache was giving me the business
the way he moved i can tell im what he've been missing
we did business throughout the night
but there was something that wasn't right
i was letting mr heartache back in my life
all for the sake of THE BUSINESS

REUNION

DAMN BLOG I KNOW IT HAS BEEN AWHILE...AND AS WE ALL KNOW WITH TIME COMES CHANGES.... WOW HAVE I BEEN THROUGH A LOT WITHIN THESE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS....FOR STARTERS I MOVED OUT OF MY MOM HOUSE... WHAT A TRANSITION?, SO MANY RESPONSIBILITIES DAMN I CAME TO REALIZE THAT IM REALLY GROWING UP, AND IM NOT SO SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT! IM DEALING WITH MY NEW LIVING ARRANGEMENTS PRETTY WELL PHYSICALLY BUT MENTALLY IM NOT SO SURE...SINCE I MOVED I HAVE BEEN FEELING SO LONELY.... LATELY I BEEN SPENDING MOST OF MY TIME WORKING, AND BOY HAVE I BEEN ENJOYIN THE FRUITS OF THAT LABOR. OH YEA I STARTED MY SECOND YEAR OF COLLEGE IN AUGUST.. AND WITHIN A FEW WEEKS I WITH DREW....I WASNT MENTALLY READY TO START SCHOOL..I THINK I WAS SO BUSY WRAPPED UP IN MY SOCIAL LIFE I GOT SIDE TRACK AND SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN WHAT WAS IMPORTANT...DURING THOSE FEW WEEKS OF SCHOOL IT WAS JUST SO HARD TO STAY FOCUS, THERE WAS ALWAYS SOMEBODY AT MY HOUSE AND WHEN I ATTEMPTED TO DO HOMEWORK THERE WAS JUST MANY OTHER THINGS GOIN ON AROUND ME THAT SEEMED SO MUCH IMPORTANT AT THE TIME...BUT I PLAN ON GOIN BACK TO SCHOOL IN JANUARY, ONE THING IM NOT IS A QUITTER. OH YEA I JUS STARTED TALKIN TO MR HEARTACHE AGAIN, ITS ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW WITH HIM, DAMN HE IS SO UNPREDICTABLE, AFTER HAVENT SPOKEN TO HIM IN A FEW MONTHS HE HAD THE NERVE TO QUESTION ME ABOUT STARTING A RELATIONSHIP, I WAS STARTLED BY THE QUESTION, I COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN HE WAS READY FOR A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, I HAD TO PASS ON THE OFFER BECAUSE MY HEART WASNT FULLY HEALED TO PUT IT IN A SITUATION WHERE IT COULD POSSIBLY BE HURT AGAIN. I FEEL THERE IS A VOID IN MY LIFE THAT NEED TO BE FILLED, IT SOMETHING THAT I NEED TO FEEL COMPLETE. SPENDING DAYS AND NIGHTS ALONE ...I DONT THINK ITS HEALTHY EMOTIONALLY. ITS JUST THAT EVERY GUY I COME ACROSS I ALWAYS SEEM TO FIND A REASON NOT TO LIKE THEM... DAMN SOME TIMES I DONT EVEN HAVE LEGIT REASON .. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME .. I KNOW...I THOUGHT THAT ME MOVING OUT WOULD BRING NEW BEGINNINGS BUT NOTHIN SEEEM TO CHANGE REALLY.. I HAVE MY OWN HOUSE MY OWN CAR AND I AM FINANCIALLY STABLE THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD BUT HOWEVER I HAVE NO ONE TO SHARE THESE THINGS WITH...

TIL WE MEET AGAIN

Another year older

As i look over my life i realize how much i have grown

from A cups to overloads C's

from high school to working towards masters degrees

so many accomplishment within these 19 yrs

Settle Vs Search

damn latey for some reason or another i been having this heavy question on my heart and dont matter who i talk to or how i analyze it, it just doesnt seem clear to me ......
i recently read a quote that said " dont settle for the one you can live with search for the one you cant live without" and when i first read it i took a liking to it and what it stood for, but as i began to read more into it a verse from a luther vandross song cross my mind.... in the song it said " if you cant have the one you love, than love the one your with. damn two strong quotes with opposite meanings.
so i ask myself which quote do i live by. do i search for the love from the man of my dreams or do i love the man who stand with me in reality. Is it bad to love the one your with rather than search for the one you cant live without. Would that be considered settling ....
what if the one you cant live without is out of reach.....
what if u been searchin for mr perfect and you guys neva crossed paths
what if u was a lil too late with ur search and the man you cant live without settled for loving the one he was with
than is it ok for you to do the same.....??????

TWISTED

I NOTICED THAT BEFORE MY SMILE COMPLETELY APPEAR

MY EYES STARTS TO WATER AND FORM MY TEARS

REALIZING A FROWN IS A SMILE TWISTED AROUND

MAYBE I WAS NEVER SMILING MY IMAGE WAS REFLECTED UPSIDE DOWN

Your miscommunication and my crazy allegations lead to a destruction of our relation . I Became a believer that you was a deciever and forced myslef to make it work, but still in the end i wound up hurt. Was it my love for you that you took for granted. I thought i was your everything the root to the tree you planted. The crazy irrational disagreements that didnt have to occur made me believe that the love i had for you, you had for her.