In n out of my heart

My heart isn't designed to operate as a revolving door
In and out you walk and i cant take this shit no more
I rather you come in and lock the door behind you or leave and never return
Its only so many times i would allow this revolving door to turn

I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NEVER BE PUT IN THIS SITUATION AGAIN
TO OPEN UP AND ALLOW ANYONE IN
KNOWING THAT THE PIECES OF MY HEART WERE NEVER PROPERLY GATHER
FROM THE PREVIOUS TIMES IT WAS SHATTERED
BUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU NONE OF THAT SEEMS TO MATTER
JUS UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE ENTERED A SACRED ZONE
WHERE THERE IS LESS TO BE SAID AND MORE TO BE SHOWN
IM OFFERING YOU A BIG PIECE OF JANAYL
BUT MY ONLY REQUEST IS THAT YOU TREAT HER WELL

FATAL ATTRACTION

LOOK IN MY SOUL
LOOK IN MY PURSE
AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK
YOU PROBABLY THINK IM CRAZY AND IN NEED OF A SHRINK
WHEN YOU LOOK INTO MY SOUL CAN YOU READ THAT ITS DARK LIKE DAYLIGHT WITHOUT THE SUN
AND WHEN YOU LOOK INTO MY PURSE AND SEE THAT GUN
CAN YOU TELL I JUST OFFED A BITCH IN THE PRESENCE OF HER SON
DO I APPEAR TO BE A PERSON WHO IS MENTALLY UNSTABLE
AND BE PUT INTO A POSITION
WHERE THE JUDGE GIVE ME A SENTENCE
THAT CAN NEVER BE FULFILLED
OR A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN MISTREATED AND OUT TO TAKE BACK WHATS HERS
EVEN IF THAT MEAN DUMPING BODIES AND TRUNKING KIDS
ALLOWING HEAVEN TO BE THEIR NEW PLACE TO LIVE
YES IM GUILTY, FOR FALLING IN LOVE
AND I CAN SAY THAT IT WAS MY FAULT
BUT YOUR TO BLAME FOR THE PAIN
THAT TOOK ME TO THE POINT OF INSANE
NEVER THINK THAT I COULD BE HURT AND HAVE NO REACTION
EVEN THOUGH NOW IM YOUR LOVER
I CAN ALSO BE A CRUCIAL FATAL ATTRACTION

NOT STUPID, JUS LOST WITHOUT A GUIDE
NOT DEPERATE, JUST IN SEARCH OF HAPPINESS FOR MY PAIN TO HIDE
NOT CRAZY, JUST TWISTED IN THE EXPECTATION OF SOCIETY
NOT WEIRD, JUST BELIEVE PEOPLE OPINIONS SHOULDNT BOTHER ME

I been through the rainy days in April
and the sunny days in June
to know that happiness comes quick but ends too soon
so many things i hide behind my smile
I cant express my feelinz or maybe i dont know how
I never knew a heart could hold so much pain
Is there a limit to heartache that takes you to the point of insane

KILLER ON THE LOOSE

AS I STAND HERE I WATCH THIS KILLER MAKE MY PEOPLE DISAPPEAR
ITS KINDA LIKE IT HAS SOME TYPE OF POWER THAT MY ENTIRE RACE FEAR
THERES NOWHERE TO RUN THIS KILLER HAS TAKEN OVER OUR ATMOSPHERE
SO I DECIDE TO GATHER INFORMATION AND TRY TO FACE THE FACT AND THEN I REALIZE THAT THIS KILLER ATTACKS MOSTLY BLACKS
BUT THERE NO TIME FOR STEREOTYPE MY PEOPLE IS DYING
YOUNG MEN BEING CAPTURED MOTHERS LEFT CRYING
BUT THE NEWS REPORT DONT CHANGE
SAME STORE JUST A DIFFERENT NAME
PEOPLE OFTEN SPEAK ABOUT HOW THEY WOULD NEVER PUT THEIR FAMILY THROUGH THIS PAIN
BUT UNPROTECTED SEX SCREAMS OUT THE KILLER'S NAME

R.I.P MONEY aka ANT

Money i know if you were here you wouldnt want me to cry
i knew you for more than two years and its fucked up i didnt get the chance to say goodbye
but thats life n these tears for you i cry
i never thought i see the day that you will die
you called me and told me you was moving to cali and that Monday i heard u got a bullet in your body
my first instinct was to cry but i heard you was alive but a few days later ya aunt told me you died
thats fucked up that shit took ya life
you was a young bul u aint live ya life
but hey i cant wait til i meet u again
and my bad i can stop these tears from dripping down my chin
but imma try to b a G for you and suck it up
but i love and this shit that happen is really fucked up
R.I.P MONEY

Our Society

Living in this world today there nothing promised
gotta be strong to survive this
this life filled with drugs, violence, and pregnancy only to name a few
fatherless sons and daughter unaware of what to do
mislead by the street and misunderstood by society
results to teens with confused personalities
young woman growing up too fast
young men pressured into gangs
babies having babies in search for men to ease their pain
too weak to be strong, no minds of their own
make irrational decisions and still consider themselves to be grown
lets blame the parents for not being home
children left alone so they turn to the streets
some sale medication, which destroys our people and our nation
and because of the lack of education they dont know that the route their going their life is soon to end
and the way society is set up the streets always win

YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN

you broke my heart into tiny grains
i thought we were in love but this is too much pain
we fuse and fight to break up
you whisper sweet loving in my ear to make up
i thought the love will last
but soon it came to past that you only look fowarding to slapping and grabbing my ass
but i let you because i thought i loved you, but the love wasnt true
so now what do i do?
sit here and cry about the moments spent with you!!!
i rather not have tears on my pillow
nor tears of sorrow
i just hope and pray i dont come across another sorry ass nigga like you tomorrow

The rain acting as the dripping blood from when you broke my heart
The thunder carrying my pain through its strong cries of sorrow
My ignorance not understanding why you hurt me
The strength of your arms wanting you to hold me
Wearing me crown still wishing you was my king
My shield, my holder, to protect me
Still fantasizing living the fairy take life
Through the days of wanting to be your wife
but dont take these feelings for lack of pride
strong and victorious i will make a lovely bride

My place in Life

AS i look over my life i dont think this earth is where im meant to be

often feeling like a waste of space

only to hope that my entire life could be erased

asking god was my purpose to be miserable and bring everybody pain

to never be happy and have nothing good to gain

yea i walk around with a smile that can brighten up the entire world

but as the moon goes up and the sun come down my pretty smile turns into a frown covered by tears

my friends calling me all times of the night

knowing i mean thinking im the strong one to help them through their life long fight

but what they don't know is that the same tears they claimed to fall from their eyes

is the same tears i cried millions of times

many mornings awakening with red eyes and dry tears

only to know that the next morning they will again appear

feeling coming from the pit of my soul

crazy hurtful emotions taking total control

but than i hear the voice of my father telling me to stay strong

and thanks to him is the reason im still holding on

my story my life

The story of my life has seem to change route
a fairy tale ending is no longer what it's about
however heartache and tears has now taken over pages in my book
and now my cover page has a new look
that little girl who was once so jolly
has become a young woman who often question "why me???"
her journey has never changed, still on a quest for happiness
but unfortunate happenings
has gotten in her way
which makes her want to end her story each and every day.....